The things we don’t say.. Sometimes I wish I could be as put together as I look. I have a successful business. Giving things away for free might sound like a funny business to be in, but it’s mine, and it’s working out not too bad. I’ve run a cake business; a good one too. $1000 minimum order for weddings, the largest being almost four times that. I’ve had staff, and classes, and magazine articles written about us, as well as written some. Newspaper reporters sitting in our classroom taking notes and photos. I’ve worked on cakes for head chefs of Sydney, magazine editors, and even seen an international celebrity chef run around a party, collecting random people, and showing them the cake. Our cake.
What I don’t say, what we all don’t say, it that it’s hard. Bloody hard. Having a cake business is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not for those that need a pat on the back every two seconds. To be honest, I’d take one a month. But you rarely get that as a cake decorator. You get a lot of requests. But they rarely have the money to pay you. You get talked up by friends and family, and then chopped back down when you either want too much money, or they ask for something you aren’t yet confident you can create. Most of the time you do it anyway, to people please. But the thing about people pleasing, as that it rarely does either side much good..
It’s lonely. You work at home in the beginning, sometimes always. You may or may not have littlies at home with you, but either way, you don’t have someone else to talk to. To toss ideas back and forth. To make you laugh when something goes wrong. To see the bright side. To see what goes into the making of just one cake. To tell you that you just did something incredible. You made an amazing cake, out of just raw ingredients. That you are talented. That you are worthy of praise.
Cakes can be extremely stressful to make, yet everything looks rosey when you see other decorators. They are all struggling just like you. But they are scared to admit their flaws. They think others just make the cake, and don’t stress for a week before-hand. They don’t panic just as they start to carve a cake. They don’t want to throw up when they painted black colour on a white wedding cake, and it smudged. They wouldn’t smudge it in the first place. They are perfect, and their cakes are perfect, and I am not. I hear that through the messages that are sent to me from you guys. That fear, that you really are the only one who can’t cope in the middle of a cake. The only one that cries, yes, bawls when you drop the bowl of buttercream, or your hand bumps the cake and ruins perfectly smooth buttercream. Other decorators aren’t so clumsy, silly, stupid..
What we don’t say, our flaws, our struggles, our fears, they all keep us from something. They keep us separated. They create this gulf between us, that we can’t jump over. I am a professional decorator, and I have in the last month, cried because one of the buttercream colours didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped. I don’t even remember what was wrong with it now. I have thrown a spatula with ganache on it from one side of the kitchen to the other. Again, not sure why I did that now. Obviously something went wrong. I’ve avoided filming a particular video, because I thought Jon would be better making it, seeing as I think he’s 100 times better at sculpted cakes than me. And, I’ve looked at a cake decorators version of one of my cakes, and knew immediately it was better than mine. I told her. She didn’t believe me, because we don’t believe it when people tell us how talented we are. Because we think that no one else goes through what we do through when we make a cake. They don’t have to remake a figurine, they don’t spill the food colour on the floor, they don’t work on a cake until 5am because they didn’t know it would be that hard.
But they do. They really do, and once you realise that you don’t make any more mistakes than any other decorator, the less alone you will feel. You do have people that understand, but sometimes we spend so much time being “perfect” that we make each other feel inferior. I’m not perfect, but I’m okay with that. If you are..
Read all the Secret Life posts here.
Absolutely the most truthful thing written about cake decorating I’ve ever read! Thank you for spreading this knowledge out there. With articles like these, I think slowly we will all learn that we are worth it and that we don’t have to be afraid to do what we love and most of all, that we are not alone! We just have to reach out and ask for the help when we need it.
Absolutely!
Oh yes. This is a great post. And very true. Creating art can be terribly stressful and yet oddly almost theraputic at the same time. I think it’s because, like the post says, we want so bad for it to be just right for our client. So we might get a bit too focused. Maybe a little too wrapped up in the end product that we don’t always enjoy the creative process. That being said, as artists, we want to provide over the top customer service to our clients so it comes from a good place.
Oh Vanessa, I’m so grateful to have discovered you! For me, cake decorating has always been a hobby of mine. However, I was never able to dive into it more than once or twice a year because I was a working mom that was also going to nursing school. Life happened and I became a stay-at-home mom and a year ago I began baking from scratch. I’ve had many requests for cakes, but I just haven’t had the confidence to make cakes for sell. Reading your blogs have given me a new found drive to just go for it. And I thank you so much!
Holy crap no article made me go yes..yes..yes….thank you for saying it out loud . Sometimes I just get so nervous that it’s just not good enough and I see others and think they just whip that cake out. You just made my day. Thank you?
Oh, none of us just “whip that cake out” trust me darl.
Thank you Vanessa for saying what we all go through.
you are welcome love
Love this Vanessa! I love how you just put it all out there & 99% of the time I’m shaking my head “YES” this is ME! I try to read & watch everything you have because I learn so much from you & you’re so personable! I feel like when I respond to a video or an article that I am just messaging one of my friends! Thank you for sharing your knowledge & your time with the world! I feel lucky to have stumbled across your videos as a new caker!
Agree absolutely, with so much of this article. I find it very helpful to be part of a network of decorators, in my case a guild. The members are so sharing…if you have a problem there is always someone who will help…has done it, made the mistakes and will share. This helps stop the feelings of isolation.
It does. We have one here too, and they are such a source of inspiration, laughter, and support.
I love your honesty, and that you are there to help others without payment
It took me a while to find you, so wished it hadn’t, but hey I’m no sprin chicken and sometimes
Finding your way around all this tec is scary, I joined another group and its not what I thought it was, then checked out your and yep no money, I was stocked as I do not work, just a hobbiest and people don’t want to pay for everything they get on their cakes, I also watched a utube you done on setting up a business, I connected with what you were saying and felt good about myself so thank you
I’m so glad you found me too. xo
Thank you for this. It’s been a particularly difficult time in my life, from every single perspective you can possibly imagine, and caking, with all de downs, has kept me alive. Quitting has not crossed my mind, but the isolation made me second guess myself, and I asked myself many times if I should be this stubborn. However, the light always shines somewhere and I keep following it. One day at a time. Thanks for shining it today.
Keep on going. I cake decorate because as much stress as it is, it has always been therapeutic.
100% last night I sat in front of my oven for over an hour on the floor watching the thermometer in the oven – my cakes have been flopping lately due to oven temperatures – last night I baked my first wedding cake order! Stressed, scared, worried, I felt sick. So yeah, I get you. ? Needless to say it came out great!! I had to manually control the heat in the oven – but so worth it!
Dropping it off at the wedding venue tomorrow and I’m super proud of it.
Thanks Vanessa, I don’t think I could have made this journey without your knowledge and amazing informative videos.
Thanks Sandy ?
I feel you hun, sometimes it’s crazy what we go through, but I am so proud of you for working at this, and you are going to deliver a kick-ass cake!
Hi Vanessa,
I found your YouTube channel a few months ago and just want to say how much I am enjoying your tutorials, ideas, and talent. This post really struck a chord with me — I have had my share of breakdowns in the kitchen. Deep down, I guess we know that everyone has their moments like this, but it is really reassuring when someone whom you admire can admit it. So, thank you for your honesty. I truly look forward to each new video. I’m not exaggerating when I say they are some of the highlights of my week. It is so kind of you to share with us.
Sincere Thanks,
Christina
You are so sweet, and I’m so glad we help you keep on caking!
I needed to read this today after almost throwing the whole cake at the wall ….Thankyou
Oh hun!
Lord every week I feel you! The hours I put in cake from my home kitchen would shock most people! And I think it actually costs more to do it from home because we don’t buy ingredients in bulk! I have had lots of people talk me up but customers shy away when I quote a price. Too dang bad go get yourself and inedible supermarket cake!
Absolutely! I spend more on everything now it’s just for YouTube.
Vanessa this is so real. I remember a few years ago making an intricate handbag cake…it wasn’t going well. Eventually I developed tourrettes and smushed up the whole thing…cake, filling, fondant…the whole lot…lol. I just beat it all up and tnhrew it in the bin…lmao. How nice to know that it was a perfectly normal reaction for a stressed out caker. ???
This is exactly why I am not doing this full time. The stress became so much, just for my kid’s cakes, I discovered that drinking some wine while I decorated helped A LOT. lol So when people started to ask to pay for me to make cakes, I couldn’t in good conscious take money and drink of the ‘job’. I occasionally barter but just for a very few friends who know me and what I do when I decorate. (Gosh, I hope this doesn’t make me sound like an alcoholic, I make cakes about 10-12 times per year and rarely drink any other time!!)
Merlot is the best, then a red cab…white wines makes the stress worse.
Haha, I hear you honey! The stress is utterly through the roof! And yes, wine totally helps, and I can say that now that I don’t accept money for orders either. xo